The Rest of my US trip

Well the last time I posted I was working in the US, trying to keep my sanity intact (not sure I succeeded). Here's the first of a series of posts telling what happened in the rest of my trip:

Gay guys are bad drivers, a study says

I started dating guys. Well, actually only one guy I met online. He was kinda cute, so we got together a couple of times to have coffee, and stuff. Then, he asked me out on a dinner date. It was my first date with a guy, you know? It was...OK. We talked a lot, then we went back to his place, and he really wanted us to do things (boy, he could take off his clothes really fast), But I just didn't. So I was driving back to my place, when I realized I was lost. As I was looking around trying to find out the name of the street I was in, I felt something hit REALLY hard the front of my car. Well, actually, it was me the one who hit a car that was parked in the street. It wasn't such a hard hit, but it was precise enough to get my front right wheel get stuck in the frame, so as it tried to spin, it made a horrible sound. Of course, I was still in shock, so I thought the sound was caused by something in the engine that was going to explode, which really freaked me out. Finally, some sort of enlightment hit me, and I turned off the gas. The sound stopped. The owners of the car weren't home, so I waited with one of their neighbors until they got home, so I could say "Surprise, I crashed your car while you were gone!!". Anyway, they were really nice (Of course, making my "vulnerable latino" face helped a lot), they called the police, who put me a $120 or something ticket (he got me in the back of the police car to fill out some paper work...too bad I was alone and didn't have a camera, that would've been a photo I would like to have), called a tow truck to take it home(which costed me $180). Repairing the car costed about $5000 (which is actually 10 times what the car costed in the first place), so that meant we didn't have a car for the remaining three weeks. Which of course, was hell, because then I had to go talking to my insurance and buy groceries in my bike. Not a cool thing to do in a 100 degree weather. Obviously, dealing with my legal / financial problems now was far more important that dating random guys I met online, so I had to say adios to the guy I was dating...whatever.

(To be continued)

The bulgarian girl

I'm working at a relatively small restaurant. There really isn't a lot to do, because most things we serve are pre-made, so we just have to take them out of the freezer and heat them up. My boss there is a bulgarian girl. She's a really nice and smart person. However, I want to kill her. She's really anal about the most stupidest things in the building, so she's always bothering us about the way cups and silverware are put in the front counter, or if we put one extra slice of pepperoni on a pizza, but them when we have a lot of people waiting in line, we always run out of food because she's not fast enough when cooking. I always try to help her, but she has such a high concept of ehrself, that she thinks she's the only one that can make things go well. She's so narcissist, that nomatter what we're talking about, she starts talking about how she's so perfectionist, and how she has an "innate ability for doing things rapidly", or how her senses are always overstimulated, so she can hear or see when somebody is talking about her.
I also work with other guy from Ecuador I met last year. He's really fun, and he always makes us laugh with his jokes, which helps a lot to deal with the long hours at work. We are always laughing at the bulgarian girl in spanish, so she can't understand what we talk about her.
But tragedy occured when her best friend told a friend of mine she took an intensive class of spanish so she could understand what people from Ecuador and Colombia talked about on her back. Of course, she didn't tell anyone but her bulgarian friends. After I heard that, I almost had a seizure when I started thinking about all the shit I've said in front of her. The next day after I heard it, I could barely look at her face. So I started acting like I never knew anything, and now I only make jokes about her to my close friends, and only when I know she's not around.

10 minutes of internet access

Summer has officially started here. Rain has stopped, and now the temperature during the day is unbearable. But most important, there has been some serious partying going on. It basically consists on going to the local bar, getting a fake ID (I'm 19), dancing latin music (most of the people at the bars are working with me, and most of them are from either Colombia or Ecuador), then leaving at 3am and then hanging out outside our rooms until 5 or 6am. Right now I'm not drinking, so I haven't really been doing anything crazy....but those nights out are great because you get to talk to everyone in the park, and laugh at the drunk people doing crazy stuff.

Although it's been fun, I still don't feel entirely adapted to the fact that I'm going to be here for another two months. There are so many cities I want to visit, so many things I want to do, that sometimes the idea of being in this small town is just too lame. Some of my bosses are really annoying about the most stupid things, so everytime they tell me to do something entirely unnecesary just because they feel like it, I just want to quit that stupid job and traveling to NY, even if I have to ask for money in the streets. My parents told me if I'm not happy with my job, then I should try to get something in NYC, since I already have the ticket from NY to Bogota, but I haven't bought one from Minneapolis to NYC (So basically, I could travel right now). But I've been looking for it, and found nothing. Anyway, I'm having fun with my friends, going out and enjoying the summer, so I guess I'll try to accept I'm not leaving Minnesota for the next seven weeks.

I really wished I could write about everything that happens here, the people I work with, the funny things that always happen to me at work because I'm really clumsy, and what's it like with living with so many people from different countries. But computer access is really difficult here, so I can barely check my mail and writing posts in the 15 minutes we're allowed to use the computer at the dorms (God, I feel like I'm in jail). I also haven't been able to catch up with all the blogs I used to read, so I'm feeling kind of weird since I've lost some contact with the gay people i've met on the internet through their blogs. I'd really like to meet gay people here, but since I'm here with some friends from college, I would feel a little shy about hanging out with the one or two pople I know for sure are gay at my workplace (which by the way, I really hate, because they're really obnoxious).

Anyway, I hope this week I'll have access to a REAL computer (not the one I usually have to use, which is probably older than I am), so I will be able to make a more detailed account of what has happened to me so far here in the US.

In America

I arrived on Monday Morning. Flights were horrible...I didn't sleep more than an hour, I got the aisle on both flights, so I had to spend flight attendants hitting me in the head for like seven hours I spent flying...Plus, my bag got lost at the airport in minneapolis, so spent like and hour waiting for it to appear, until it turned out to be mixed with bags of some flight from Chicago.
Anyway, I'm all settled up here at work. It's been hell, because they're short of staff, so we've had to work from open to close...which is good, since I'm making more money, but it's hell because I've had to spend 10 hours without being able to sit down. Plus, I've tried to cut my expenses, so I bought shoes for work at Walmart for $9.87. Big mistake. Now, I feel like my feet are going to fall down.
It's been weird, because even thought the Work and Travel program is supposed to be an opportunity to meet people from other countries, the administration decided to hire less people from Europe, so the majority of employees are colombian, and from my college. So instead of meeting new people, it's been more like hanging out in the halls of my college back in Bogota. The same people, same social groups, just different location.
But I've met some really nice people too. There's this polish guy who barely speaks english, so he carries around a pocket size polish-english dictionary, so he can look for the translation of what he's trying to say. It's really funny when he can't finish a sentence and he has to look for some word in the dictionary, while he courses in polish. I hope I'll never have to work with him, otherwise it won't be funny, just really upsetting.

Final thoughts before I leave to the US

I'm taking a 10 min. break from studying for my last final, to write about some things going on:

Tomorrow I have my last final exam. My Phisics II final exam. It's an exam that I should've taken like two and a half years ago, when I was supposed to have taken this class. I took it two times, put after the first months or so, I got too scared about me being a total idiot for phisics, so I always saved it for next semester. But this time, I'm finally facing my fears. My posibilities are really good, since I only need to answer right 4 out of 25 questions to get a 3 over 5 grade on the class (which for you american guys would be loke getting a C, I think). I'm really tired right now, I've spent two weeks making all kinds of exams, papers and presentations, so right now I can barely concentrate on that damn exam. But I know I cant' be too confident, so right now, so I have no choice but studying for it (even though I could be partying with my friends from college who did took Phisics when they were supposed to, so finals are over for them). Which is basically the reason why I'm writing a post on a friday night. And after I publish it, I'll keep studying that damn Phisics book until Einstein himself would want me to teach him some things (So picture the Rocky scene where he starts getting ready for the fight, just instead of running and training, I'm doing lots of thermodinamics exercises).

Today I realized something funny. Since two months ago I finally got my driver's licence (which doesn't speak too well about the colombian transit authorities), I'll be able to drive the car my friends and I will buy after me arrive to Minnesota. I just want to say in advance, as Stephen recommended me, I'm sorry for terrorizing the streets, I'm sorry if you get stuck behind me because I can't get my car started after I stop on the red light, and I'm sorry if I get on your way because I can't stay on one single lane, etc. (well, I'm not THAT bad, but I'm just taking precautions). Another funny thing is that my friends and I had agreed months ago that we'd buy a car as soon as we got there, so if any of us got earlier than the rest, he would start finding one. What they dind't count on, was that that person was going to be me. So the last couple of times we've spoken, they've kindly tried to tell me that they want me to be as far as I can from a car until there's a responsible adult with me (I'm an adult, just not a responsible one). And of course I agree with them, since my knowledge about mechanics is VERY limited, and I don't want to waste any money on a car that won't last more than two weeks, as we all did last year.

Yesterday I finally had a hair cut, which I hadn't for more than a year. After I left the beauty salon, I felt kinda naked (which is natural, since I lost like 6 inches of curly hair that protected me from the cold Bogota weather). I wasn't too happy about my new almost-bald look, but I got very good reviews from my female audience, so I'm more confident now. Plus, It won't be really be a big deal since I'll be wearing the stupid baseball cap included with my uniform at work. The funny thing is that I still try to play with my hair (which I did a lot when I'm stressed), even though my hair now isn't longer that my fingernails.

I'm sad because I won't be able to say good bye to some of my friends and my brothers. I know it's really stupid, since I'm only going for two and a half months, but ever since one time when I was like 8 years old that I dreamt about a plane crash the same night an American Airlines plane actually crashed near a colombian city called Cali, I've been a little scared about planes. Not in the hyperventilating kind of way, but I do get a little nervious about the idea of flying 5 hours over the Atlantic Ocean...I just want to say if the plane crashes and we get stuck on an empty island, I hope the rest of the passengers will be hot models or, in the worst case, porn actors.

One thing that really makes me want to kick my self is that while I'm trying to smile at angry costumers, my parents will be on a month trip to Europe. Since probably we're not going to be in touch for a while, last night I told them to go out and have dinner. It was the longest hour I've ever had. Unlike most family dinners, we didn't yell at each other or anything, but instead, be didn't spoke more than 10 words in the entire evening. I wonder what is it about us that we can't have a normal relationship! I mean, they could be kidnapped and be sacrificed by some savage french tribe and I'd never see them again!!! (well, maybe not). Not that I want the Gilmore Girls - kind of relationship with them, but I just think it's amazing the only thing they have to say to me is "how much money do you plan to spend?".

Well, I guess that's it for now. I'll try to post about my american adventures, (hopefully some x rated ones, since most gay bloggers are used to much more exciting posts than the ones I write).
Oh and by the way, I'm still waiting for your suggestions of fun things to do in NY!

Some complaints

The trip to the US is killing me. People from the travel agency are always asking me to call them every single minute to check on the airplane tickets or and the travel insurance, and then I have to spend an hour on hold just for them to tell me that there's a mistake on the fight dates, and that for some reason I have to make yet another payment to them, or that they'll call me back when they have information for me. But of course, they're completely uncapable of calling me back when they're supposed to, and therefore I had to purchase airplane tickets for 300 dolars more than I was supposed to, plus, I've had to make several 1 hour trips to their office to pick up some unnecesary document I'll never be asked for, when I'm supposed to be studying for my finals.

Anyway, most of the paperwork is done, so pretty much the only thing left is actually traveling. As part of the incompetence I mentioned before, I wasn't able to get the same tickets than the rest of my friends, so I'll be traveling alone the 5 hours from Bogota to NYC, and then the 2 hours to Minneapolis. I'm not the luckiest guy on Earth, so my guess is that even though I have two and a half hours to get through immigration and reach the Minneapolis connection in JFK , which is more that the time they recommend for and international connection, something will probably go wrong, and I won't be able to reack my connection, which means I'll be stuck in the airport until I catch the next flight.

One thing I hate about having to travel on sunday night is that I'll have no time to settle things down before I leave. My last final exam is on saturday night (at least it won't be like last year, when I actually had to leave my last final and then rushing to the airport), and as the rest of my classes, I won't get the grades until I'm thousands of miles away, so I won't be able to talk to teachers and beg for a better grade (not that I like doing that, only in special cases).

But the thing I hate the most, is that I'LL HAVE TO CUT MY HAIR!!! my curly, fun brown hair, which is by far longer than what my employer allows, and because of its volume, it's imposible to hide it under a baseball cap. Well, since I have to do it anyway, I think I 'll pull of a Britney and shave my head...

Yep, I'm going back to the US

I'll be the king of New York (just for a few days, but I'll be the king)

This semester has been crazy. I've felt out of breath for most of it, but it's been fun. It's like I'm finally feeling like I belong somewhere, and for the first time I think I'm in the right place, about college, life...a lot of things.

And after a lot of thinking, I decided to go back to the US for the summer. In two weeks, I'll be working at the same place I did last time. Not that I felt in love with frying french fries, being yelled at by angry sun-burned costumers or washing dishes until midnight, I actually hated all that while I was there. But for some reason, right now I can only remember the good moments of that summer. Going out, hanging out with people from different parts of the world, being without my parents watching my every move, being on my own. And those memories are a lot stronger than the idea of serving fast food for 6.95 an hour, for 10 weeks.

I wanted to go somewhere else, not staying in the same small town where the best plan besides going to the only local pub was going to Walmart. I wanted to get something maybe in Boston, NYC of Philadelphia, so I could spend my time off work walking around, visiting tourist spots and taking lots of photographs, intead of just hanging out at the local Applebee's.
But as I said, things were to crazy this semester, and I really didn't have time to look for an employer who wanted to hire a colombian guy for two and a half months. Plus, all my friends are going back too, so I dedided to join them. And I guess if I get too bored, I can quit my job, go to the highway and travel as a hitchhiker for the rest of the summer.

Last year took some days off and traveled to Chicago, a city I love with all my heart, and I really want to go back to. But this time, I want to go NYC first. I want to conquer NYC. Unfortunately, I think I'll only have 4 or 5 days to spend there, so I want to make the most of it...I want to go to the obvious tour stops, but I also want to visit those places that most tourists never go to, but they're equally interesting. Maybe even going to Chelsea or West Village and imagining what it would be like to be gay in a more open society (man, I'm so closeted :-) ). Although last summer I went to Boystown in Chicago and felt alone and vulnerable like a new born puppy...but I had to go anyway.

The point is I want to the most things I can in 4 days. So if anyone is reading this, please give me some recommendations of what you consider the must-do things in NY in a quick trip. I'll really apreciate your comments.

My Right Eye

Today was a terrible day. The alarm rang at 5:30am, and after a few minutes of laying in bed, I realized my right eye felt weird. I looked myself in the mirror, and my eye was as big as a baseball. Plus, it was so red I just thought it was going to pop out any minute. Anyway, I had an important presentation from 7 to 10 am, so I couldn't miss that class as much as I wanted to. So I took the sunglasses and went straight to class, hoping noone would notice me. Which is impossible, since I bought the biggest sunglasses I could find, following the eye doctor's orders.

At 7am, the temperature was about 3ºC ( 38ºF). I don't need to say how ridiculous I looked wearing sunglasses inside the classroom, while we were all freezing to death. The good thing is the sunglasses are really dark, so I could watch withouth being watched. There's this guy I don't even remember his name (So I'll call him HotShirtGuy), who was only wearing a fitted cotton shirt and low-rise jeans (I don't know how, since I was wearing two sweaters and I still couldn't feel my arms), so he looked really hot this morning. We went outisde the classrom and made a circle around our projects, and while everybody was discussing how appropiate the use of Alka-Seltzer in an artwork can be, I enjoyed looking at the guy's chest peeking through his shirt. I mean, my eye was hurting really bad, so at least I could use it to look at something good, right?

But then the class ended, and I hadn't anything good to look at, so the pain came back. I had to make an emergency visit to the eye-doctor, who game me a bottle of eye drops, and told me to visit him of friday...those eyedrops really helped, since the eye isn't so red anymore, althought it's still very swollen. He also told me to wear the sunglasses as much as I could, to avoid direct light into my eyes. So I'll have to wear my Matrix-like sunglasses again...I just hope I'll bump into HotShirtGuy again, and taking some advantage of my disease.

The last two weeks

These two weeks have been amazing. In taking classes from both the Engineering and the Arts major, and I like all of them. I don't know why, but I feel a lot more motivated this semester than what I have ever felt the last three years I've been in college...I think I'm going to end up doing both majors, since I don't really feel a special preference for any of them...for now.

Last week I started thinking about the possibility of going back to work to the US in the summer. As I mentioned before, I'm dying to go to NY, and if I go back, there's a big chance I'll be promoted (even though I was famous for being clumsy at my workplace), so I wouldn't have to be so worried about the money I spend during vacations. The few days I spent in Chicago helped me a lot to see things celarly, to take a clear look at my goals, and I definitely think going to NY would be a great experience for me, even if I just can do it for 4 or 5 days. I still haven't talked about it with my parents, so I'm not making any plans yet.

I don't know what is it about NY that makes me so excited. It's just cities like Chicago or NY represent the freedom and the oportunities that I know I cant' have in Bogota...plus, there are lot more hot guys there :) (God, I'm so shallow).

The next two weeks will be very important for me, because I will finally decide if I'm going to spend the summer in the US. If I do, maybe I'll bump into some of you there!

Last week I went to the movies with some friends. I arrived late, so I didn't get the chance to watch Dejavu (I wanted to watch Children of Men). The most remarkable moment in the movie happened when Denzel Washington's character tells Jim Caviezel he's gona need KY at jail, and then a friend's girlfriend asked us whispering: "KY for what?". We all laughed for so long that we completely lost track of what was going on in the movie...

Anyway, when we were leaving the theatre, I noticed someone was staring at me. I looked back at him, and I didn't recognized him at first, but after a couple of seconds I realized it was a guy from high school we used to call "Dolphin" (I really don't remember why). He told me he had been working at the multiplex for a few months. I had been told by a friend that Dolphin had dropped out of the University after the first year (he was an Engineering student, like me), but I didn't really know what had happened to him, even though he only lives a block away from my house.
When we were in high school we used to hung out sometimes, but he was more into heavy drinking than I was, so we weren't really friends. And according to what I heard, he kept that partying attitude in College, so things didn't really worked out for him.

We didn't really get to talk too much, because there were a lot of people waiting in line, and he had to keep an eye on them. On my way home, I realized I was a little shocked, because he's a living example of what my parents gently mention as "failure", everytime I want to talk about my career doubts. I mean, I don't think working at a movie theatre is a bad thing at all, but it's just not what any of us imagined doing when graduating from High School.

I'm really scared about taking bad decitions. I mean, Your hole life is based on the decisions you make after you graduate from high school. Right now I'm just thinking about how unhappy I feel by studying engineering, but will I feel fulfilled as a film director knowing I'll have to beg people to finance my movie? If the arts major doesn't work, then what? I guess what scares me the most of endind up working at a movie theatre isn't the job itself, but knowing that it'd be too far from the dreams I had when I finished High School.

But no more thinking. University starts again tomorrow, so it's time of acting. No more doubts, no more preocupations. I'm finally going to be responsable for my actions!!! ...or at least i'll try.

Catching Up

Well, I survived my first week in driving lessons. There weren't too much surprises, everything came out as I expected: I suck. The car always turns off when I hit the brake, I never look at the mirrors, etc. Basically, my teacher has been the one who has driven the car the whole time, and I have barely held the steering wheel. But I guess it's just a matter of practice...I just hope I can improve my driving skills before I take the final exam, otherwise I'll have to repeate the entire thing again. And there's no way I can practice on my spare time, because I don't know anyone stupid enough to let his/her car to be used for that purpose (I have asked).

I have only a week left before university starts again, and things have been a little slower that I expected. Most of my friends are out of town, so there hasn't been too much things to do around here. The only fun thing I did this weekend was going bowling.

My friends and I were supposed to meet at 4pm in from of the bowling alley. Only two of us made it on time, Crazy Cat and I. We called the rest of the group, and they would take about 40min. to get there. So I used the time to catch up with Crazy Cat.

She was the first person I met at the University. We used to have the exact same schedule, so we always hung out together. We dated a few times, but she just had too much going on inside her head...so we just kept being friends. She always get the best grades almost effortlessly. I guess I have always felt a little jelous of her, because she represents everything I wanted to be when I first got into college: she's focused, and (at least in the academic things) she knows what she wants.

During the last year we didn't spoke as much as we used to, not only because our schedules stopped being the same, but we also met new friends, so we didn't really had time to keep in touch. She's one of the few of my friends in college who knows I want to switch from an engineering to an Arts major. So while we waited for the rest of the people, I told Crazy Cat what has happened with that.

CC: what happened with the arts thing, are you going to stay at Engineeing?
Me: Well, I haven't really made up my mind...I'm taking a few Art classes next semester, and I hope I'll finally make a decision.
CC: Great, I'm glad...that's what you wanted, right?
Me: well yes, but I just think I have lost a lot of time...even if I end up graduating as an engineer, I feel like I'm not prepared enough...for example, I look at you, and I know I'm not on the same level you are...
CC: That's not true! I wanted to take an internship this semester, but I didn't do it because I'm terrified about the idea. I feel like I don't know anything!
Me: Really?
CC: Yeah, I mean we've been in the University for three years, but somehow I don't feel like I'm prepared to have a job, or anything like that. You shouldn't worry about that, you should just think if this is what you really like, of if your real passion is in Arts.

Talking to Crazy Cat was helpful...she has done great at the University, but she doesn't have a clue of what she's going to do after she graduates. And I guess that happens to a lot of people, right? I relized I'm not the only one who feel insecure about the post-university future. Anyway, I have a whole semester to figure things out, so I'll leave this week to relax a little (hopefully).

A very scared post

Tomorrow I'll start taking driving lessons.

I have never driven a car before.

Sometimes I have problems when trying to differenciate left from right.

I paralize when I get nervious.



I just want to say, in case anything bad happens, that it's been great having this blog, because it has allowed me to express ideas and thoughts I had repressed for years. And I want to thank all the gay bloggers out there, because they have been part of that.

I know it sounds ridiculous to write a goodbye letter just because I'm finally taking those damn lessons, but right now I'm so scared about it that when I close my eyes are thousands of different ways in which I can crash the car I drive going at less than 10 miles/h (I guess hours of playing Burnout Revenge hasn't been really helpful).

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that if you don't see any new posts for a month, or if you hear in the news about a multiple car crash in Colombia, well, you can figure out what happened to me.

iTunes is currently playing: The Figurehead - The Cure

Back from Pasto

Well, I'm back from Pasto. This was a very interesting trip, for a number of reasons I'll try to explain in this post.

After almost losing my plane because the stupid girl at the airline counter sent me to the wrong boarding room, I made it to Pasto. Pasto is a relatively small city in the southwest of Colombia, and holds the Carnival of Blacks and Whites, which was the main course of my trip.

New Year's eve
Unlike past years, I had a lot of fun this time at New Year's Eve. Since I had no relatives in the city, Maye's family adopted me. I was a huge party with all of her uncles and cousins, all of them really nice and friendly, so I really felt welcome on that holiday.
At 12am, my parents called me. We greeted aech other, and wished each other the best for 2007. It was nice, since this time there wasn't any arguments or drama involved in the celebration, we were just happy about being able to talk, even if it was though we could only make it through our cell phones (Which as I said on the last post, was the idea of my trip).
The party lasted until 7 am, so it was a phisically callenging party for me, since Maye's cousins always wanted to dance with me (even though I'm the worst dancer in the Solar System), and didn't let me sit to recover my breath.

The Carnival

During the carnival, which started on Jan. 2, our day was divided in two parts: In the morning, we went to the parades, which literally paralized the entire city. The parades were amazing, because they included the presentation of floats, dances and musical groups, all of them centered around the diverse colombian traditions. The energy of the people is amazing, becuase everyone just gets together to celebrate, singing and playing on the streets. When the parades finished, Maye, her sister and I played with the locals as well with other turists to paint each others' faces with black paint and throwing white powder at other people, which is originally done to celebrate our heritage from the white spanish conquerors and the black slaves they brought from Africa, but in the end is just a great excuse to attack strangers in a non-dangerous way.

A float representing gods from old colombian tribes.

The white powder made the streets of Pasto look like Bagdad

In the afternoon, we went to the tents installed all over the city, which were huge spaces that held salsa music bands, and where most people went to dance and drink beer and aguardiente (Our local liquor). We stayed at the tents until they closed at 11pm, and then headed to a bar, or just sat down on a sidewalk and got drunk. I had the chance to meet tons of new people in our nights out, because Maye and her sister kept meeting old friends from high school, which be hung out with. Since I'm being medicated I couln't drink too much alcohol, so I wasn't as drunk as most of them, but I still had a lot of fun. We went home every day around 4am, tried to get some sleep and then woke up at 8am to start over again.
The parties we went to were the scenario for a lot of situations. I hooked up with a couple of random girls an the tents (no guys this time), but nothing serious happened with them. Everyone in the city were in a very relaxed mood, but it took me two or three days of Carnival to get into that mood. After that, I didn't mind splitting from my group of friends and walking around the city with complete strangers, or even being taught by a psychology student about the 7 erogenous zones (And when I say taught, I mean she made me touch each one of them them until I got the right spot and applied the right pressure), right in the middle of the street.
There's something about the unlimited amounts of booze and the white powder floating in the air that made everyone horny... I swear I had never experienced the kind of harassment I lived there. Call me conservative, but there's just something awkward about my best friend's drunk sister fondling me in front of her family and friends.
I had a lot of fun. Those nights reminded me a lot of my senior year at high school, when I used to spend friday and saturday nights completely wasted, talking about the most random things, and drinking cheap alcohol. I hadn't experiences that kind of freedom since I got into college. The good thing is that all the fun distracted me a little bit from all the situations I know are going to make 2007 such a tough year to live.

iTunes is currently playing: Delicate - Damien Rice

the PRSF period

So I decided to spend New Year's eve in Pasto. I'll travel this weekend, and I'll stay with Maye and her Family. I thought spending this particular holiday without them would be good for my parents an I, because at least there would be no "golden" comments during the dinner like "I hope next year you think about your attitude" or "I just want you to know that I spent this year too stressed out about you". I mean, comments that if anyone else heard, they would inmediately think I spent months in jail, or drug rehab.
And since It'll be the first time I'll spend New Year's Eve without my parents, I asked them to go out and have dinner tonight. Although they didn't seem too convinced, they finally agreed and went to a restaurant a few blocks away. Well, tonight I discovered that If anyone in this house is an adict, it's them. They're addicted to drama!!! they just can't live without it. I mean, I sat down at the table thinking "well, maybe this dinner won't turn out as the many holiday dinners do". Well, I was wrong. We hadn't ordered our drinks yet, when the drama began. These were some topics my father adressed during a very long dinner (my mother just sat next to him and said "yes, I agree", as she always does):

How I never help them do anything.
How I never talk to them.
How other people's sons DO help their parents doing things, and talk to them, and how they already know what they want to do with their lifes.
How I'm wasting time travelling and going to parties while I should be thinking about my career.
How they had to face so much things by the time they had my age, and yet I think I've suffered.
ETC.

And since I've heard the same speach for years, I developed a skill for paying no attention to what they say, and still shaking my head and nodding my head when I'm supposed to. So while they said those wonderful comments, I just thought "God, If I change my major, Ill take at least another two years to leave my parent's house. I think I'll have gone crazy by then". I think by this time I resigned to the hopes of having a normal relationship with them...Whatever. By saturday I'll be gone, so they'll have to find someone to complain at. And to celebrate that, when I finish posting this, I'll officially start my PRSF period (Parents-Related Stress-Free period), which ends the 7th of january, when I come back to Bogota. I'll use that time to have fun, to stop worrying, and finally have some peace (God knows next year I'll be missing that peace a lot).

And since I'll be gone for some time, I just want to wish to the two or three people who visit my blog (and everyone in general) a happy new year, and I hope it'll bring a lot of happiness and joy to your lifes. That's it for 2006, see you again on 2007.

the PRSF period has officially started.

Christmas

I don't know how does it work in other countries, but in Colombia, praying the Christmas Novena is a huge tradition here. For those of you who don't know what it is, is just a prayer made for nine consecutive days until christmas eve. It's usually a very festive celebration, where friends and family gather and eat pastries, talking, planning holiday trips (and also, there's some praying in between). This year's novenas were really fun. Each day's novena was hosted by a friend, so I had the chance to catch up with people I hadn't seen since before finals,gossiping, meeting new people...It was good because I think at the end of the semester we were all so stressed out about finals we just wanted to kill each other. But there we were, friends again.

It's a shame novenas at home have become so boring. When I was a child, I was usually the happiest one at home...we sang christmas carols, and there was always someone over, it was fun. These are some of the classis moments I remember the most:
- The massive amounts of food we ate
- My uncle, who gots drunk before we even start praying
- How everyone tried to keep up my dad's rithm when we sing carols (when dad was a child, he studied in a Catholic Boarding school, so I guess he learnt to sing at the children's chorus, and that's why he can reach those high notes that nobody else can)
- The way my mother always forgot the lyrics of the carols, so she always made up her own, and we all ended up laughing (with her, not at her)

But now it's just my parents, grandma and I, praying like we were at some relative's funeral. I don't know when was it that the relationship with my parents became so weird...I wish things were different, but at the same time it's like none of us really wants to do anything about it.
Christmas eve was better, because my brother came over. He's the fun one in the family, he's always making awkward jokes, and things change a lot when he comes. Plus, his wife is really funny too, my brother an her are always teasing each other, so when me all get together we have a really good time.

I'll probably spend New Year's eve with some friends...We've been trying to travel, taking into account that several of the main colombian cities are hosting carnivals these days...If everything turns out as planned, It'll be the first time I'll spend New Year's eve without my parents...maybe being appart will make the time we spend together more valuable. Or at least we won't make ach others holidays' miserable.

The 20th birthday wish list

So after a lot of thinking, I realized these are the things I'd like to do before my 20th birthday. Some of them are really childlish (which is weird since the whole idea of the list is that it'll be a symbol of my adulthood), but I just thought I've been too stressed out about things, and realized maybe I haven't enjoyed some things in life. So here's the list, Hopefully I'll get some opinions about it:

1. Getting a driver's license (See prev. Post)
   
2. Organizing (getting rid of) the piles of exams, homeworks, notebooks, etc. that I've accumulated all around the house since I was in high school.
3. Going Backpacking. Since I was very young, my friends from high school and I have planned on going backpacking trough latinamerica, or Maybe the US. But we've never really done anything about it, just because we've been too lazy. Chances I'll do it next summer are really small, because I'll probably have to take summer classes if I want to graduate in 2008, so I'll extend the deadline for this point of the list until december of 2007.
4. Running the Half-Marathon of Bogota: when I was younger, I used to practice tennis and swimming. But as I grew older, I also became too lazy to wake up for sports practice, so I eventually dropped it. But because of my lack of physical activity and my terrible mood, every time I'm under a lot of stress (during finals, for example), the muscles in my back and neck collapse, and I start feeling like I slept over a pile of rocks. So I decided I'm going to start doing exercise again. I think joining a gym is the best option, since there are a lot of different exercises you can do, and people who can tell you what exercises are better for you. And the best way of showing my improved physical condition will be running the Half-Marathon, which takes place in July. I know if I had to run tomorrow, I'd pass out at some point of the first 5 miles. But hopefully that'll change in the next seven months.
5. Going to NYC: I'm in love with New York, but I've never been there. The hole idea of a city that has such a rich cultural diversity makes me very excited. I know it sounds very stereotypical, being the latin guy who thinks NYC represents the oportunity of fulfilling his dreams, etc. NYC means to me the ideal life i'd love to live: a city that doens't sleep, a vibrant place where you have a lot of options in food, entertainment, culture, a place that gathers a lot of influences from different parts of the world, and that idea just makes me crazy. It all depends of what happens at college next semester...(I also want to go backpacking, so there are a lot of things I want to do next summer, but won't happen if I have to stay if I have to take summer classes).

When I started writing this post, I thought there would be a lot of things on this list. But I realized that it's not so much about what I want to do before I'm 20, It's the person I want to be before I'm 20. I want to stop being so lazy, and start doing things on my own. I want to stop being afraid, and finally start living. I feel like there's an entire wolrd of experiences and emotions waiting for me to discover them, But I have chosen to keep my Life on Hold while I try to figure thing out. And I don't want that anymore (hahaha I'm finally becoming an adult!!!!)

Driving Lessons

In less than 9 months I'll be 20 years Old. Not only I look a lot younger (thanks to my parents' genetics, I have the height and the face of a teenager) , but I feel a lot younger. It's like three years of college haven't had that much of an impact on me. But I've decided that I still have time to change that, before my birthday. You know how a lot of people make a list of things they would've liked to do before they reached certain age? Well, I'm writing mine with the things I'd like to accomplish before my 20th birthday. It's not ready yet (It'll be my next post), but one of the points of the list is taking driving lessons. For different reasons, I've always avoided them. Personally, I think I'll be the worst driver ever, for several reasons: First, the only driving experience I have so far comes from playing Mario Kart, where crushing other people's cars was an OK practice, and the breaks weren't really useful. And second, I'm the clumsiest guy ever. When I was in the US, I became famous between my co-workers because of the amusing stories of work accidents I had there.
But I put it in the list because I've always considered driving is a display of maturity. You see, driving in Bogota is a serious deal. You have to be aware of the crazy bus driver trying to pick up a passenger even if it means crashing your car, or watch for the numerous bumps on the streets so you don't lose a tire in the middle of the road, or trying not to run over the people crossing the street where they shouldn't, all at the same time. And for me, if you can succesfully handle all those obstacles, you're officialy a responsable grown up.
I've already made the appointment at the driving academy, and I'll start the lessons in january. Until then, I'll be preparing myself for it (well, if you can call preparing just having a lot of nightmares of car accidents involving me as the main character).

The First Time

It was sunday afternoon, and I was bored to death. I had been without internet service since thursday, so I felt like I was completely disnonnected from the outside world (God, am I shallow...). So I started calling everyone in my cell phone contact list, and only Maye was the only one who hadn't travelled for the weekend or didn't have a huge hung over from saturday night (I had dinner with my family, so there was no partying por me on saturday). I picked her up, and decided we wanted to watch a movie at a mall at Zona Rosa, one of the biggest bar and shopping districts in Bogota, just a few blocks away from Maye's home. So on our way there, we started talking about what happened in 2006.

Before I continue, I just want to say that I have always felt really guilty with Maye, because we are really close friends, and she always tell me everything that happens in her life. But I'm more closed about my feelings, so she really doesn't know too much of what happens in my life, because I just don't like talking about my thing, even with close friends (clearly, being gay is one of those things)

But since I discovered "the blog circuit", I've realized it's ok to talk about things, it's ok to share your problems with other people. I mean, that's one of the reasons I started the blog in the first place, so I can realease all the pressure feeling can cause when they're trapped inside my head.

And as Maye told me how bad she felt about certain things that happened to her in recent months, I decided I'd tell her everything that night. When we arrived at the mall, we found out we'd have to wait an hour an a half to watch the only decent movie they were playing. So instead, we decided just to have some coffee and then go home. At the coffee place, I was no longer paying attention to her. The only thing I could think of was How was I going to tell her. This is a description of what was happened:

Maye: Oh, I did so bad this semester! It's just I had so much things going on in my life, I just didn't know how to handle them...(she kept talking)
My Head: Ok, so how do I tell her? I could start with the classic "I have something to tell you"... or should I just say it like it's no big deal, like "Yeah, too bad...by the way, I'm gay"...what do I do? Hey...pay attention to her! you're not the only one with problems, you know?
Me: Oh, really? well, I'm sure next year will be better...
Maye: I hope so, because...(she kept talking)
My head: C'mon, are you going to tell her, or not? I mean, it doens't HAVE to be today, you know? why don't you wait for a couple of days, and prepare your "speach", or whatever you have in mind?
Maye: ...and tell me, how was this semester for you?
Me: Well, you know, it was...ok. I mean, I have thought about a lot of things this semester...about my career, my life...I think travelling to the US helped me to see things from another point of view.
Maye: Like what things?
My head: yeah, let's wait. You'll have many oportunities to tell her...It doesn't have to be now. It's better that way. Yeah.
Me: Well, for example, I realized I'm gay.
My head: what??????
Maye: yeah, that happens...are you serious?
Me: uhmm well, yes.
Maye: Well, it's better you realized that now, instead of one day being married and miserable about it...
Me: yeah, I know...

Anyway, what surprised me the most was her "underreaction"...she was too cool about it...I think I expected a little bit more of surprise on her, but it's fine...I've outed to someone for the first time.

Flirting 101

Trough college, I've met a lot of hot guys. The problem is that even if my gaydar, and in general, common sense told me they were possibly gay, I never made a move...which was probably the best, taking into account I plan to be in the closet for a while.
One of those guys is Luis. He's 21, tanned, an kind of athletic. We took Phisics together, and since we didn't do well on that area, we always tried to help each other understanding what the teacher said (and always failed), although we didn't really became friends or anything. My gaydar always told me he ws problably gay...not that he was too obvious or anything, but there were just a lot of small things here and there...anyway, I never really paid too much atention to it, and I just thought he was a nice guy and that was it.

But one day, I was checking a friend's myspace, and since I had nothing else to do, I started browsing through the gay profiles. I didn't want to meet anyone, I just wanted to see if my gaydar worked and one of the guys in the "College's hot list" was between one of the profiles. At first i didn't recognized anyone, but I was looking at a profile, and It turned out Luis was listed as one of the guy's friends. I checked Luis' profile, and that guy had written a message like "I remember the first time we met..." I just started laughing, because I realized several things:
1. My gaydar works
2. A guy I liked (not too much, but...) was finally "available". This was the first time that I could actually hit on a guy, safely (I wasn't going to get punched or anything). There was the possibility of getting something.

After that, I realized I'm the clumsiest guy ever.Instead of and bringing out the subject in a very casual way, I just sat next to him, withouth saying a word, like a nervious 13 year-old girl. I mean I've flirted with girls a lot, I still do it, and I have no problem at it...but the idea of flirting with a guy just sounded SO cheesy...(so cheesy, I actually had to try really hard not to laugh in the middle of the classroom, just because of the awkwardness of the situation).

One of the things that makes getting out of the closet so boring is that it'll be like high school again, but with guys...I mean, what do you do, you call the day after the date? Does one of us have to open the door? Who pays for dinner? I'm so clumsy that at this point I don't know if I'm staying in the closet because I'm afraid of people's reaction, or just to avoid a lot of embarrassment...

Waking Up

So, the year is over... This semester was terrible. After I arrived form the U.S., I had to catch up with so many things I barely had a social life this semester. An my final grades were kinda lame...I had 6 final exams this semester, the most I have ever had (and they kept me busy the past two weeks, non-stop). By last week's Tuesday, I still had two finals left, but I was so exhausted that as soon as I opened a book, I inmediately felt asleep. I had my last final on saturday (at 7am), and right before the teacher started giving us the exams, I realized I had forgotten everything I had learnt in the past 5 months. I felt so relieved when it was over...after the exam, it was all fun that weekend. I went downtwn shopping at the flee markets (If you ever travel to Colombia, you have to visit them, we have some amazing handcrafts here), went to the movies and watched The Prestige (Hugh Jackman's chest should be illegal-great movie, by the way), got drunk with some friends from high school, so many things I hadn't done because of University stuff. I realized that I've a little bit more than a month before I get back to classes, and have some real fun. It's only fair, after all the hard work I did this semester.

My iPod is playing: and all-time favorite: One More Time, Daft Punk.