Sunday, January 21, 2007

Last week I went to the movies with some friends. I arrived late, so I didn't get the chance to watch Dejavu (I wanted to watch Children of Men). The most remarkable moment in the movie happened when Denzel Washington's character tells Jim Caviezel he's gona need KY at jail, and then a friend's girlfriend asked us whispering: "KY for what?". We all laughed for so long that we completely lost track of what was going on in the movie...

Anyway, when we were leaving the theatre, I noticed someone was staring at me. I looked back at him, and I didn't recognized him at first, but after a couple of seconds I realized it was a guy from high school we used to call "Dolphin" (I really don't remember why). He told me he had been working at the multiplex for a few months. I had been told by a friend that Dolphin had dropped out of the University after the first year (he was an Engineering student, like me), but I didn't really know what had happened to him, even though he only lives a block away from my house.
When we were in high school we used to hung out sometimes, but he was more into heavy drinking than I was, so we weren't really friends. And according to what I heard, he kept that partying attitude in College, so things didn't really worked out for him.

We didn't really get to talk too much, because there were a lot of people waiting in line, and he had to keep an eye on them. On my way home, I realized I was a little shocked, because he's a living example of what my parents gently mention as "failure", everytime I want to talk about my career doubts. I mean, I don't think working at a movie theatre is a bad thing at all, but it's just not what any of us imagined doing when graduating from High School.

I'm really scared about taking bad decitions. I mean, Your hole life is based on the decisions you make after you graduate from high school. Right now I'm just thinking about how unhappy I feel by studying engineering, but will I feel fulfilled as a film director knowing I'll have to beg people to finance my movie? If the arts major doesn't work, then what? I guess what scares me the most of endind up working at a movie theatre isn't the job itself, but knowing that it'd be too far from the dreams I had when I finished High School.

But no more thinking. University starts again tomorrow, so it's time of acting. No more doubts, no more preocupations. I'm finally going to be responsable for my actions!!! ...or at least i'll try.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Catching Up

Well, I survived my first week in driving lessons. There weren't too much surprises, everything came out as I expected: I suck. The car always turns off when I hit the brake, I never look at the mirrors, etc. Basically, my teacher has been the one who has driven the car the whole time, and I have barely held the steering wheel. But I guess it's just a matter of practice...I just hope I can improve my driving skills before I take the final exam, otherwise I'll have to repeate the entire thing again. And there's no way I can practice on my spare time, because I don't know anyone stupid enough to let his/her car to be used for that purpose (I have asked).

I have only a week left before university starts again, and things have been a little slower that I expected. Most of my friends are out of town, so there hasn't been too much things to do around here. The only fun thing I did this weekend was going bowling.

My friends and I were supposed to meet at 4pm in from of the bowling alley. Only two of us made it on time, Crazy Cat and I. We called the rest of the group, and they would take about 40min. to get there. So I used the time to catch up with Crazy Cat.

She was the first person I met at the University. We used to have the exact same schedule, so we always hung out together. We dated a few times, but she just had too much going on inside her we just kept being friends. She always get the best grades almost effortlessly. I guess I have always felt a little jelous of her, because she represents everything I wanted to be when I first got into college: she's focused, and (at least in the academic things) she knows what she wants.

During the last year we didn't spoke as much as we used to, not only because our schedules stopped being the same, but we also met new friends, so we didn't really had time to keep in touch. She's one of the few of my friends in college who knows I want to switch from an engineering to an Arts major. So while we waited for the rest of the people, I told Crazy Cat what has happened with that.

CC: what happened with the arts thing, are you going to stay at Engineeing?
Me: Well, I haven't really made up my mind...I'm taking a few Art classes next semester, and I hope I'll finally make a decision.
CC: Great, I'm glad...that's what you wanted, right?
Me: well yes, but I just think I have lost a lot of time...even if I end up graduating as an engineer, I feel like I'm not prepared enough...for example, I look at you, and I know I'm not on the same level you are...
CC: That's not true! I wanted to take an internship this semester, but I didn't do it because I'm terrified about the idea. I feel like I don't know anything!
Me: Really?
CC: Yeah, I mean we've been in the University for three years, but somehow I don't feel like I'm prepared to have a job, or anything like that. You shouldn't worry about that, you should just think if this is what you really like, of if your real passion is in Arts.

Talking to Crazy Cat was helpful...she has done great at the University, but she doesn't have a clue of what she's going to do after she graduates. And I guess that happens to a lot of people, right? I relized I'm not the only one who feel insecure about the post-university future. Anyway, I have a whole semester to figure things out, so I'll leave this week to relax a little (hopefully).

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

A very scared post

Tomorrow I'll start taking driving lessons.

I have never driven a car before.

Sometimes I have problems when trying to differenciate left from right.

I paralize when I get nervious.

I just want to say, in case anything bad happens, that it's been great having this blog, because it has allowed me to express ideas and thoughts I had repressed for years. And I want to thank all the gay bloggers out there, because they have been part of that.

I know it sounds ridiculous to write a goodbye letter just because I'm finally taking those damn lessons, but right now I'm so scared about it that when I close my eyes are thousands of different ways in which I can crash the car I drive going at less than 10 miles/h (I guess hours of playing Burnout Revenge hasn't been really helpful).

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that if you don't see any new posts for a month, or if you hear in the news about a multiple car crash in Colombia, well, you can figure out what happened to me.

iTunes is currently playing: The Figurehead - The Cure

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Back from Pasto

Well, I'm back from Pasto. This was a very interesting trip, for a number of reasons I'll try to explain in this post.

After almost losing my plane because the stupid girl at the airline counter sent me to the wrong boarding room, I made it to Pasto. Pasto is a relatively small city in the southwest of Colombia, and holds the Carnival of Blacks and Whites, which was the main course of my trip.

New Year's eve
Unlike past years, I had a lot of fun this time at New Year's Eve. Since I had no relatives in the city, Maye's family adopted me. I was a huge party with all of her uncles and cousins, all of them really nice and friendly, so I really felt welcome on that holiday.
At 12am, my parents called me. We greeted aech other, and wished each other the best for 2007. It was nice, since this time there wasn't any arguments or drama involved in the celebration, we were just happy about being able to talk, even if it was though we could only make it through our cell phones (Which as I said on the last post, was the idea of my trip).
The party lasted until 7 am, so it was a phisically callenging party for me, since Maye's cousins always wanted to dance with me (even though I'm the worst dancer in the Solar System), and didn't let me sit to recover my breath.

The Carnival

During the carnival, which started on Jan. 2, our day was divided in two parts: In the morning, we went to the parades, which literally paralized the entire city. The parades were amazing, because they included the presentation of floats, dances and musical groups, all of them centered around the diverse colombian traditions. The energy of the people is amazing, becuase everyone just gets together to celebrate, singing and playing on the streets. When the parades finished, Maye, her sister and I played with the locals as well with other turists to paint each others' faces with black paint and throwing white powder at other people, which is originally done to celebrate our heritage from the white spanish conquerors and the black slaves they brought from Africa, but in the end is just a great excuse to attack strangers in a non-dangerous way.
A float representing gods from old colombian tribes.

The white powder made the streets of Pasto look like Bagdad

In the afternoon, we went to the tents installed all over the city, which were huge spaces that held salsa music bands, and where most people went to dance and drink beer and aguardiente (Our local liquor). We stayed at the tents until they closed at 11pm, and then headed to a bar, or just sat down on a sidewalk and got drunk. I had the chance to meet tons of new people in our nights out, because Maye and her sister kept meeting old friends from high school, which be hung out with. Since I'm being medicated I couln't drink too much alcohol, so I wasn't as drunk as most of them, but I still had a lot of fun. We went home every day around 4am, tried to get some sleep and then woke up at 8am to start over again.
The parties we went to were the scenario for a lot of situations. I hooked up with a couple of random girls an the tents (no guys this time), but nothing serious happened with them. Everyone in the city were in a very relaxed mood, but it took me two or three days of Carnival to get into that mood. After that, I didn't mind splitting from my group of friends and walking around the city with complete strangers, or even being taught by a psychology student about the 7 erogenous zones (And when I say taught, I mean she made me touch each one of them them until I got the right spot and applied the right pressure), right in the middle of the street.
There's something about the unlimited amounts of booze and the white powder floating in the air that made everyone horny... I swear I had never experienced the kind of harassment I lived there. Call me conservative, but there's just something awkward about my best friend's drunk sister fondling me in front of her family and friends.
I had a lot of fun. Those nights reminded me a lot of my senior year at high school, when I used to spend friday and saturday nights completely wasted, talking about the most random things, and drinking cheap alcohol. I hadn't experiences that kind of freedom since I got into college. The good thing is that all the fun distracted me a little bit from all the situations I know are going to make 2007 such a tough year to live.

iTunes is currently playing: Delicate - Damien Rice