Sunday, March 02, 2008

Alcohol and Jealousy, dangerous combination.

Yesterday afternoon, Gay Sensei called me to go with him and his friends to the same gay bar we went last time. At first I didn't really want to go, but then Will and Cat called me and told me they some other people to the same place, so I kinda didn't have a choice but going.

I went over to Sensei's place, and we walked our way to the bar, where we'd meet his friends. I had already drunk some beers at a dinner party at my place, so I was already in a "happy" mood. We got there around 10:30, and went straight in to Lottus, the men-only section of the bar, which is why Cat and her friends had to stay in Teatrino, (which does let women in). I told Will I'd meet them later. We took advantage of the open bar, so it didn't take long before I started to feel even "happier".
After dancing a little, I went downstairs to meet Will. To my surprise, they were hanging out with some people I already knew (all of them straight): two girls from college (that I don't like very much) and a guy that works in my office. When I saw him, I felt really weird about my straight co-worker dancing next to me...but after I found out both Wilson and Cat were totally over the guy, I started to feel...jealous. Not about Will, but about Cat. The thing is, I've always had a little crush on her. She's a beautiful girl, after all (although too crazy for my own taste). So I talked to her about the guy, and after some resistance, she told me she had already had sex with him, but he had a girlfriend, etc... which only made me feel even more jealous. So after a while, I made up some excuse, and went upstairs to meet Sensei and his gang.

By the time I found them, both alcohol and the whole "Cat being fucked by my co-worker" thing had done a very strong effect on me. I felt dizzy, a little angry, and I just wanted some fun. I started dancing with them again, but suddenly it was just me and Sensei (who was very drunk too) on the dancefloor. We started to get close, and he told me how flirty I had been with everyone at the bar. As the conversation got more and more kinky, I pushed him against the wall, almost making out. But then, one of his friends found us and not-so-discretly pulled us away, and we all started to the dancefloor again.

There was a guy with us who had made eye contact with me the whole night. He was cute, although so far I hadn't paid too much attention to him. But then I turned on my "homme fatale" skills, and within 5 minutes, I danced, flirted, and made up with him against a wall (oh...I'm such a slut when I drink...). After a short make out session, I went back with the rest of the group. Sensei approached me, we talked about the guy I had just made out with, flirted, and made out. Intensely.

When Sensei's friends decided to go, the effect of alcohol-jealosy was mostly gone. Sensei wanted to stay for a while, but I knew what he wanted, and I knew I didn't. I told him I was really tired, and told him we should go home. We walked to his place, where I'd take a cab, as we always do. He was still very drunk. As we walked, he started to open about a lot of things. How he felt frustrated about being caring and trusting with others, about his ex, about his life. He told me things he admitted he had never told anyone.

At that moment, my parents called me on my cell phone to check were the hell I was. They're extremely overprotective and old fashoned, so they consider being out of the house at 3am an outrageous thing to do for a "well mannered, educated young man" like me. I told them I was already in the cab, and would be home in a while. 10 min Later, we got to Sensei's place, and I called a cab. When I looked back at him, he was laying in his bed, almost asleep, and told me to sit next to him. I did, he hugged me, and I layed down, "just while I wait for the cab", I said.

I was woken up by my cell phone. It was my father. I looked through the window, and the sun was out: It was 6:30am. I had fallen asleep next to Sensei. I called a cab, and left Sensei's place. I barely said goodbye to him, since I only wanted to get home quickly, so I didn't have to stand my parents being angry the whole week (They barely spoke to me today...whatever).

I don't know what to think about last night. As he told me all those things on our way to his place, I felt really sad. Lately, we have become really close. Not in the dating kind of way, though. I just love talking to him, because he has a very dark sense of humor, plus he's a really smart guy...I wished I felt attracted to him, but I'm not. And I don't think he is attracted to me either...I just think he was feeling a bit lonely last night, and it was just the alocohol talking. I feel weird about what happened. I don't want him to get the wrong idea (making out with him wasn't the best idea, I know). I guess I'll just talk to him, and act like it was no big deal...I hope he does that too.

1 comment:

Sincerely, King Bitch said...

Aww, you still have feelings for the girl!