Sunday, February 17, 2008

Booze, Rock Music and an Old Crush

Last night I went out with my friends from High School. Our initial plan was going to Socorro!!!, an indie rock bar we like a lot. But we decided we'd better have some cheap drinks before. So we went to a crappy liquor store, bought rum and wine, to remember old times (When we were in high school, our favoite plan was buying cheap red wine, and drink it at a park two blocks away from our school). At 11pm, we headed to Socorro!!!. We were really wasted.

After walking about 25 blocks and being stopped by cops (Luckily we weren't carrying any alcohol bottles with us, or we would've spent the rest of the night at a police station), we got to the bar. We bought some more booze (I can't really remember what we bought...I think it was rum), which rose our drunkenness to a higher level. Luckily, I didn't get drunk enough to do embarrasing things...I just flirted with one of the female dj's, and then shamelessly undressed with my eyes at one of my coworkers who was at the bar (I'm afraid tomorrow when I see him at work, he'll look at me like "That drunk gay guy who was harrassing me all night").

One of my friends called some girl he's hitting on, and she told him to go to a bar two blocks away. When we got there, the place was so crowded they weren't letting anyone go inside. As we waited in line, one of my friends told me: "Hey, isn't that the girl you had a huge crush on at High School?".

That Girl and I were really good friends at High School. I initially met her because I was hitting on a friend of hers, but we became friends. That was, until I realized I was in love with her. Then I started to act all weird, because I knew it wasn't mutual, so I didn't want her to the end of senior year we grew apart, and after we graduated, we didn't speak again. I must admit the only time I've been in love has been with That Girl. But she was also a very good friend of mine, so it hurted me that I lost her for being such an idiot.

We waited in line about 10 minutes, until we got in. She was kind of trying to avoid meeting me, but I didn't care. We started talking about our lifes, what has happened to us in the last 4 years, etc. At some point, she asked me if I had been in love with her. I didn't know what to say, so i just told her everything...that I really wanted to be with her back then, but that I knew how she felt about me, and that back then, I had acted like a jerk because I didn't want to be vulnerable (Good thing I was drunk otherwise I wouldn't have been able to stand that conversation).

I also told her I missed her, that I had started dating guys a couple of years ago, and a lot of other things.

After an hour, my friends and I decided to go home. That Girl and I made the promess to keep talking regularly, at least on MSN. I doubt we'll keep that promess....last night I realized we have changed a lot since we graduated, and after so much time, I don't think we'll ever be as close as we used to be. She gave me her cell phone number, and I left.

We stayed on the sidewalk for a while (One of my friends wasn't feeling so good). I called Gay Sensei, and told him about my conversation with That Girl (He's kind of a Night Owl, so I know it's OK to call him at 4am to ask for some life advice). As I was talking to him, I realized that by telling her everything, I felt kind of ashamed, but it was also very therapeutical. I was able to close that chapter of my life, and moving on. Plus, maybe we'll be friends again, right?

Pd: I have such a hangover right now, that while I was writing this post, there was an earthquake (not a strong one though), and I didn't felt it!! Which is great, because earthquakes are probably the only thing that paralizes me out of fear...alcohol is awsome: not only it helps you to openly express your feelings, but it also helps you to hide all the negative things in life, like earthquakes! (OMG I'm turning into an alcoholic...)


Anonymous said...

I miss getting drunk with cheap booze with friends.

The first person I was in love with was also a girl, but I wasn't in love with her because I had a crush on her. I was in love with her because she was the first person I came out to. I felt that I could tell her anything.

mstpbound said...

i loved one girl, also, in my life, during college. we're still good friends, tho, even after falling out for a while...

WillySmith said...

When say that I am "going out with my friends from highschool" I mean that I am going out with people that I met in highschool at least 10 years ago.

dit said...

What a great time you had. Very cool of you to be honest with the girl. I have no idea what happened to he people I was in high school with, i doubt we would connect today.

redgalaxoid said...

I think my friends from High School are some of the closest ones I have. Mainly because most of us went to the same college, and even some of us study similar careers. I have to accept that over the time each one of us has changed, but we still like to get together, getting drunk and being stupid, like in the old times.

dit said...

I dated a girl for many years. We met when I was 7 and she was 5. Started out as friends, then dated. Later we came out to each other. Crazy, no?